Dr Dennis’ medical report of Patient- Remnants Ladies 2’s
17/03/12 10.30 am
Presenting complaint
Desire to win match against New Beccehamian Ladies 3’s
History of presenting complaint
Components of the patient arrived to a wet and cold scene at HSBC pitch. Having previously lost 6-1 patient was very keen to reverse this scoreline. Due to a recent winning streak the patient had positive mental attitude and felt ready for physical challenges.
Past medical history
Previous score 6-1 against patient
Hamstring injury
Fitness and skills improving thanks to ongoing prescription of ‘George’
Family history
Two supporters in attendance (NB braving torrential conditions!) to stand at patient’s side to provide encouragement and improve mental well being.
Social history
Based at Eltham college
Occasional difficulty with stairs
Known alcohol excess
Drug history
Half time port-one measure per match
On examination
Patient alert and orientated
Patient has excellent heart, beating strong from the centre, with blood (play) flowing well round all areas of the body (pitch), good peripheral pulses (excellent play down the wing!)
- Neuro and musculoskeletal
Patient demonstrated superior strength, co-ordination and skills resulting in 3 spectacular goals. Text book worthy! (Caroline W 2, Ellie 1)
The patient was found to have a spectacular defence system. Excellence clearance of attacks. Only one ball slipped through to the net.
Diagnosis
Patient is on fabulous form!
Prescription
Continued wins!
Best functioning organ- Louise A
Organs of note- Ellie, Nicole, Caroline W, Lady P.
Dr Dennis!
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